How many times have you heard your kid scream out in frustration “I CAN’T”? Not everyone can get something the first time they try it! And learning to overcome your fear and frustration is so important to success in everything. Helping your kids develop this growth mindset is so important, so I teach kids 3 easy steps to follow any time they want to try something new.
The first step is to say “I CAN”. When you say “I can’t” you limit yourself, you stop yourself from even trying. But, thinking that maybe you can do it, opens the doors to trying. This doesn’t mean that the first time you do something, you are going to get it. A lot of us have to try a bunch of times before we succeed.
This brings me to step #2: Ask someone for help. It’s amazing how often we overlook this simple step, but when trying something new, getting someone else’s help is SO IMPORTANT. I know that naturally it can be difficult to accept someone’s help. A lot of times we want to figure it out on our own! But if you want to succeed, getting help from someone with experience is essential. You will save yourself a lot of time and frustration by asking someone that knows.
Now step #3: Practise and practise until you succeed! Don’t give up if you don’t get it right away! Keep trying until you do. Sharing examples with kids about how long it took you to achieve something might help them feel they aren’t alone. Nobody likes failing, but if you keep trying, you can feel that tremendous satisfaction of overcoming obstacles and achieving something difficult. You can remind your kids about how they felt when they were able to achieve something else. Remind them of their successes and that they had to work at it to get them. You can also point to “the greats” and their success and failures.
Thomas Edison held over 1000 patents for different inventions, but we only are familiar with a few of his successes. He famously said “I have not failed 10,000 times, I’ve successfully found 10,000 ways that will not work.” Yet we all know the tremendous success of the light bulb.
Another great resource is I CAN Believe in Myself. You can buy a hard copy or PDF that is easy to share with your family or class right here! This is a story about how Molly figures out how to overcome her fear of speaking in front of the class.